Emmalise Joy

 I truly believe that God hand selected for us the nurses we would have on the day of Emmy's birth.  The nurses that were with us during labor were so kind, and along with my midwife, applied counter-pressure to my back the entire time I was laboring.  They routinely asked us if we needed anything and took care of us so well. They even made little bracelets for us with Emmy's name. After Emmy came out they were so considerate of me and what I wanted.  They asked if I wanted them to put a hat of her or if I wanted to see her hair.  They asked if I wanted to keep holding her, or if I wanted them to weigh and measure her.  They did not do anything to Emmy without consulting me first, and I felt so, so, cared for. Nurses work hard, and aren't always acknowledged for the work they do, so I feel like I need to say just how amazing they were to us.  I will never forget any of them. As shifts were changing, our nurse that would be with us during the night came...

We woke up at 6:30am that morning to head to the hospital for me to be induced.  Needless to say, neither of us slept well the night before.  I remember waking up with a pit in my stomach, not sure how I would have the strength to do what I needed to do. How was I going to endure this physical pain knowing that my baby would be born still? Thankfully in our weakness He is strong. It was still dark on our drive in, and Rich and I alternated between silence, tears, and talking about what we were thinking/feeling.  It all still seemed so surreal- like this couldn't be our life.  We pulled up to the hospital and passed the pull around where 16 months ago Rich had pulled up the car and we had put Addy in her carseat to take her home.  It felt like a punch in the stomach to know that this time we would be leaving with empty arms.  We entered the hospital and were guided to our room where we met our nurses who immediately shared how sorry they were that we even ha...

 The day we lost our dear Emmalise Joy This was not a blog I ever imagined I'd be starting, but I think that my healing process will come through writing.  The bible says to "Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story... (Psalm 107:2)." If I can encourage anyone in their own loss, lead anyone to the gospel, or remind someone of truth as I tell our story of stillbirth and my journey with God through it, it will help me to tangibly see that Emmy's life still had purpose.  If this blog encourages you in any way, please let me know, as that is my hope and prayer. "Is there anything I could have done?" is a question that the enemy haunts my thoughts with in some quiet moments throughout the day.  I'm so glad I know the answer to this question and can quote scripture to refute it, and send the enemy's words right back to hell where they came from.  As I look back at the previous years I am thankful that the Lord cemented these verses in my mind.  But be...