My last post for a while. My one request is please read.💛

This will be my last blog post for awhile.  I'm going to take a hiatus from facebook for I'm not sure how long. I may blog again at a later time, but I also may not.  I will see how the Lord leads me.  As you can probably imagine, logging into facebook and seeing pictures of other mamas pregnant, or announcements of other babies due in May is triggering for my grief.  And it's not that I am not happy for those mamas- I believe that we can rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15)- but it is just an intense reminder of what I have lost.  The ache and longing in my heart for my precious baby girl becomes unyielding, and in all honesty I wrestle with God as feelings of jealousy or bitterness arise and I become angry for what He has taken away from me.  I'm not ashamed to write that.  Yes, I am a faithful person, but I am also a human, and those thoughts and emotions I have are real.  I'm not going to hide those from God when he already knows my heart.  I believe that God is strong enough to handle my emotions and would rather I come to Him with an honest and open heart instead of hiding and withdrawing from Him (sidenote - many faithful friends have had to remind me of this truth).  He is the God that holds all of my tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8). My tears matter to Him, and If you're going through a similar situation, your tears matter to Him too.  He weeps with us. 

The point of this post however, was not to tell you why I will be taking a break from facebook, but instead is to share something with everyone reading this what I believe is the most important truth that you need to consider--the gospel.  See, Emmy was born on March 16...3-16...The numbers of the most famous bible verses there is, John 3:16. And so I feel like somehow, through Emmy, God wants me to share a message with you.  Yes, you, whoever you are that is reading this. The verse says...

"For God so loved the world that he gave His, one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life."  If you continue reading, verse 17 says, "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him."

These verses are beautiful. They share that God doesn't just loves us, He so loves us- enough to send his only Son-- yes God knows what it's like to lose a child, what a comfort that is.  Have you been a victim of the "so loves?" Have you ever "so loved" someone else? If you're a parent, I bet you know what I mean. We don't just love our children, we SO LOVE them. Well that's how God loves us.  I'd highly recommend listening to Judah Smith's sermon (click here) on this- it's pretty incredible. Listen while you're making dinner, folding laundry, or driving. It'll change your life if you let it.

But these verses also imply something else, that we need saving.  I'll let that sit there for a minute.  Yes, we need saving.  We are sinful people living in a sinful broken world. There is evil, there is heartbreak, there is pain.  It's easy to see this sin in other people, but it's also in us.  It's in me and it's in you.  Think you're a "good person"? See the problem with that is "good" can mean something different to everyone.  Let's hold you up to God's standards.  Take a look at the 10 commandments.  How are you doing? I'm guessing not well.  Me either.  That's why John 3:16 is SUCH. GOOD. NEWS.  God sent Jesus into the world, not to condemn us, but to SAVE us! Let's keep reading.  John 3:18 says

"Whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son."

So how are we saved and what are we saved from? I'm sure if you've ever lost someone, you've had the thought of what happens after you die.  Where do you go? Is heaven real? Is hell real? The bible answers these questions.  Yes, hell is real and heaven is real.  We are eternal beings.  We do not just vanish into the ground.  We have souls, and our souls will live forever somewhere. The bible says by trusting in yourself, in your own good works and efforts you will be condemned to hell. Sin has made a gap between us and God.  We can't get back to him by trusting in ourselves. It's like trying to jump across the grand canyon.  The gap is simply too big, we can't do it on your own. God's standard for us is holiness, perfection, and simply being a "good person" won't do. And he knew we couldn't bridge the gap on our own.  That why he sent Christ.  Because he loves us and couldn't bear to be without the people that he created.  So he sent his son to die the most horrific death imaginable.  For us.  To save US. That's what we just celebrated on Easter isn't it? I want you to imagine now a giant cross bridging across the Grand canyon.  By walking along that cross and trusting in Christ to save us, we can get back to God.  We are saved and can spend forever and ever in heaven with Jesus Christ.  Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. 

So when I say because of our faith, we will see Emmy again, this is the faith I am talking about.  I am a sinful person, and if you could see inside my heart you would know.  But I have trusted that Jesus Christ, and man that even history doesn't deny, walked this earth and was the Son of God.  That he was crucified (another fact that history doesn't deny) for my sins, took all of God's wrath on humanity upon himself, and died.  He died, which is what we deserve.  But he died so we don't have to, and three days later he rose again and now sits in heaven at God's right hand.  And whoever confesses with their mouth that Jesus is Lord and believes in their heart that God raised Him from the dead will be saved (Romans 10:9).  And once we trust in Christ we can be confident that we will be in heaven when we die. And then while we are in that in between place, saved, but still living on this earth, God continues to change us and make us more like himself.  And we do good works because of what He's done for us, because we love Him so much, NOT to get Him to love us, or to try to earn our way.  

I feel the Holy Spirit guiding me as I type these words and I pray that you will consider these truths.  That you will think about who Jesus is. Either a liar, lunatic, or who he said he was - God's son.  Because really, those are the only 3 options.  You can't just be a "good man" when you claim to be God. You're either lying, crazy, or telling the truth.  And my hope and prayer is that you with put your faith in Christ and trust Him for eternal life.  No, trusting in Christ doesn't take away our suffering or our trouble.  As you can see if you've followed my story, I am suffering right now, as have many other Christians before me.  But the difference is he is with us in our suffering.  He is there with us in the fire.  He is holding us. And he gives us Hope that this life is not all there is.  There will be a day, one day, when all of this will end and we will live in a place of beauty and perfection and love where there are no more tears, no more fears, and no more pain. And if you ever want to talk to me about Jesus or have questions, please reach out to me.  I promise not to judge your questions and would love to share more of my Jesus with you. 

XOXO,

Julia