The Place Where Joy and Sorrow CoExist

 Is it really possible to "Rejoice with those who rejoice; and mourn with those who mourn?" (Romans 12:15).  What if you yourself are mourning? Is it really possible to rejoice?  What if you are experiencing God's abundant blessings and joy overflows? is it possible for you to step into someone else's mourning? I knew the bible said this was possible, so I believed it in faith, but had never truly experienced the beauty of these two emotions intertwined until I went to visit my brother and sister in law, Rob and Olivia, and meet their newborn baby.

My sister-in-law and I were pregnant at the same time and due two weeks apart.  I was due May 17th, she June 1st.  We were pregnant at the same time with our first two kids, Addy and Liam, and seeing them grow up together is so much fun.  They are getting to the age when they are starting to play together and I know they will grow up to be best buds.  I had the same hope for our next kids, Emmy and Chip.  

When Chip was born it resurfaced a lot of grief for me.  I was reminded that Emmy was not here with us, but also grieved the loss of cousins close in age and growing up together.  There were tears, and to be honest there was also anger at God.  "Why did you give her a baby and take away mine?"  I was happy that they had a healthy baby and did not have to experience what I we experienced, but I was also grieving so deeply for myself that it seemed to overshadow any joy.  There was a lot of grief and anger for me that week. I didn't think I could go visit.  I didn't think I could do it, until in God's timing a friend reached out to me through facebook who had also experienced a stillbirth and asked how I was doing.  I chose to let her in and share what I was feeling.  Coincidentally, (but not really coincidentally because we know God is in control of all things) she experienced the exact same thing with babies due within weeks of her stillborn son.  She shared with me that visiting their babies was actually more healing for he than she ever could have imagined.  

So after talking with her a little more, I told Rich I think I was ready to go visit, so that weekend we made a plan to go down.  When we arrived we prayed that God would allow both joy and sorrow to coexist, that we would be able to rejoice with them, and that we would also feel the freedom to cry if we needed to.  We walked in toward their living room and my sister-in-law was nursing her son Chip on the couch and I immediately started crying.  In that moment it wasn't awkward.  Both Rob and Olivia comforted me with their words, and they were okay with my tears. And I could feel in that moment that they were mourning with me.  Maybe not outwardly expressing tears, but their hearts understood my pain and were saddened with me.  I'm not sure how else to describe it other than my grief was welcomed there without any reservations. Olivia laid chip in my arms and I held my sweet little nephew and cried.  And just like my friend had told me, holding Chip was more healing for me that I ever could have imagined.  Somehow amidst my grief I was able to experience joy for them in having a healthy baby and having a new nephew to love on.  It doesn't have to be joy OR sorrow.  I can be both at the same time.  Another one of my friends put it well (God has given me such wise friends).  She said she reminds her son of this same principle when they go out on a date night and a babysitter comes.  He is sad mom and dad are leaving but happy that he gets to play games with the baby sitter. Emotions are never only one or another.  They are both and.  

As we continued our visit with them, Olivia and I were able to talk on a deeper level.  We laughed AND cried together.  Both of us.  I laughed and she cried and vice a versa. It was one of the most beautiful things I've experienced in awhile.  And I thought to myself, how else is this possible unless with God?  How else is it possible to hold joy in one pocket and sorrow in the other?  How else is it possible to really truly mourn with the mourning and rejoice with those rejoicing?  God.  It's only God.  A good God whose purpose and PERSPECTIVE is way higher than ours.  A good God who comforts those who are struggling under the suffering that he allowed.  A good God who brings beauty out of ashes, who comforts those who mourn, who puts the pieces back together, who heals and restores.  Who does all things for HIS glory.  This life is not my own, I am His vessel and I willingly surrender my life to him to use for his purposes.  Because He gave his life for me.  I trust that he is always good.  My good God made this beautiful day possible. So if you're struggling, don't give up on God yet.  He's doing something.  He's up to something.  Have faith, watch, and look for Him at work. 

A beautiful song that I've been loving - God Turn it Around.